week the Wakefield Express ran an article on my book with
the headline 'The Rough with the Smooth' and a picture (right)
of me and my new book, surrounded by the branches of our crab
apple, which are currently dripping with yellow fruits.
John Welding e-mailed me this portrait of the author
lurching alarmingly out of the undergrowth.
'Have got a huge deadline looming,' John explains, 'so was only
able to get side tracked by doing the picture, left. I was inspired
by your photy in the Horbury Wakefield Express, it reminded
me of Green Man mythology.... the black and white photograph is
better, more atmospheric.'
Didn't I say the other day that that man is working too hard? John
is the man who can look at a tomato top and see an alien
entity bent on world domination (see 7th
October), so I guess I shouldn't worry too much
if he sees me like this. I look a bit like Spike Milligan playing
the crazed castaway Ben Gunn in the Mermaid Theatre production of
Treasure Island. Come to think of, I look like that in
the photograph too!
More like one of the characters in Waiting for Godot than
a castaway pirate, these drawings, by Dan Weinstein were
based on a photograph I used on my home page last year. Dan,
a professor of English at Sioux Falls, South Dakota, keeps an illustrated
weblog (see link below).
Am I really so waywardly lugubrious?
No, don't answer that question, it was meant to be rhetorical!
I could imagine this character coming to life in a cartoon animation.
Like Estragon in Godot, he'd probably moan:
'Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!'
Richard by Dan Weinstein
Kill or Cure
back to the boring old real me: I've got a bit of a cold this morning
so I open another sachet of the ginger latte that my friend Tanya
sent from Singapore: hot, reviving and spicy. This is a kill or cure remedy!
As I'm too groggy to do anything else (other than pack up parcels of
books, I can still manage that), I walk along the canal and up to Ossett
to meet Barbara and her mum at the Friday market for
a cup of coffee.
The Serpent in the Garden
mum, Betty, has mentioned that she heard a tip for keeping
squirrels out of your garden; run a piece of hosepipe amongst the plants
and they'll think it's a snake. Unfortunately this method is also supposed
to scare off the birds.
I see a black inner tube from a bicycle tyre abandoned by the towpath.
Should I convert this into a snake and try out the idea? Hmm . . . nope.
Personal Weblog Of A Technophilic English Professor (left).
Richard Bell, email@example.com