The Green Man

Friday, 14th October 2005

Richard by John Welding

Wakefield Express photographLast week the Wakefield Express ran an article on my book with the headline 'The Rough with the Smooth' and a picture (right) of me and my new book, surrounded by the branches of our crab apple, which are currently dripping with yellow fruits.

Today John Welding e-mailed me this portrait of the author lurching alarmingly out of the undergrowth.

'Have got a huge deadline looming,' John explains, 'so was only able to get side tracked by doing the picture, left. I was inspired by your photy in the Horbury Wakefield Express, it reminded me of Green Man mythology.... the black and white photograph is better, more atmospheric.'

Didn't I say the other day that that man is working too hard? John is the man who can look at a tomato top and see an alien entity bent on world domination (see 7th October), so I guess I shouldn't worry too much if he sees me like this. I look a bit like Spike Milligan playing the crazed castaway Ben Gunn in the Mermaid Theatre production of Treasure Island. Come to think of, I look like that in the photograph too!

Richard by Dan Weinstein

Weinstein's Theory

More like one of the characters in Waiting for Godot than a castaway pirate, these drawings, by Dan Weinstein were based on a photograph I used on my home page last year. Dan, a professor of English at Sioux Falls, South Dakota, keeps an illustrated weblog (see link below).

Am I really so waywardly lugubrious?

No, don't answer that question, it was meant to be rhetorical!

I could imagine this character coming to life in a cartoon animation. Like Estragon in Godot, he'd probably moan:

'Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it's awful!'

Richard by Dan Weinstein
Richard by Dan Weinstein

Kill or Cure

chimnies, Ossettchairs in the cafeComing back to the boring old real me: I've got a bit of a cold this morning so I open another sachet of the ginger latte that my friend Tanya sent from Singapore: hot, reviving and spicy. This is a kill or cure remedy! Phworr!

As I'm too groggy to do anything else (other than pack up parcels of books, I can still manage that), I walk along the canal and up to Ossett to meet Barbara and her mum at the Friday market for a cup of coffee.

The Serpent in the Garden

squirrelBarbara's mum, Betty, has mentioned that she heard a tip for keeping squirrels out of your garden; run a piece of hosepipe amongst the plants and they'll think it's a snake. Unfortunately this method is also supposed to scare off the birds.

I see a black inner tube from a bicycle tyre abandoned by the towpath. Should I convert this into a snake and try out the idea? Hmm . . . nope. Next Page


Dan WeinsteinJohn Welding

DanToday, the Personal Weblog Of A Technophilic English Professor (left).

Richard Bell,